*fyi, this is a cross posting w/my daily blog*
Maybe it’s hormones, maybe it’s the festive time of year, maybe it’s…
I don’t know what. But for whatever reason I’ve felt pushed to be positive lately. As if by sharing my actual reality, I might be offending someone; thus the blog silence.
You know the old saying, which [...]
Inside Out
Fall
There is a part of my heart that lives and breathes in November. For November belongs to Jake. Always and forever.
We pushed, we struggled, we persevered through so many Novembers. But it will never be the same.
As the beauty of October fades, the chill of November sets in.
I’m not ready.
Just not ready.
The memories are suffocating [...]
Open Devotion
God how amazing is your glory?
Old habits seeping back into my day, my mind, my minute. *Alert* Alert* my brain is fuzzy, not so quick to resist the temptation to slide back in the habits of agony, analyzing and anxiousness.
Not today stress. Not today financial worry. Not to day devil.
Nope. Not going to happen.
Buzz in [...]
Inspired
Man, I’ve started this post three times, nearly finished it once and still can’t find the appropriate words to convey my present emotion.
I stand, sit, slide, somewhere between glory, compassion and grace. Totally clear right?
My spiritual life has been intense lately, in the best possible way. For the first time in my life I feel [...]
Loan Modification; check
You know the saying, “Prayer changes things”?”
They weren’t kidding
Such an incredible burden has just been lifted! I’m rejoicing as though I’ve just discovered new life!
How amazing is our God? How mighty?
How much greater is He?
Good things He is doing in my life, good things.
Listen and obey.
I have, I will.
AMEN.
Meandering
meander: to wander aimlessly or casually without urgent destination
meandering
unwilling and unyielding to the Spirit
what is the cause
what is the purpose
Fear?
perhaps.
Questions grow like flowers by the wayside,
Yet, I haven’t the urge to pluck them,
let alone pull them from their untimely roots.
No, I’d rather just meander.
Then the answer isn’t known.
I don’t hear it, I don’t see it; therefore, it [...]
Birthday Eve
I suppose it’s perfectly within reason for one to get reflective around one’s birthday.
But this year, I’m feeling particularily reflective, particularily intuitive.
I went so far as to visit my parents’ grave; a trip I’ve done only twice in the 20 months since my mother’s passing.
With my van full of children, I couldn’t help but wonder [...]
The Great Return
to work that is.
Me and my change amongst the seasons.
Last summer I took off from work to grieve, cry, soul search and reconnect with my children after Jakie’s death.
This summer, I return to work following my 4 month maternity leave.
Amazing the difference a year makes.
Absolutely, freakin’ amazing.
A year ago, I had little hope in my [...]
Revelation
To complete your family. To know, by the grace and mercy of God your children are all here with you must be a most glorious knowledge.
But it’s a knowledge I will never hold.
Who knew my answer to the ever asked, “Is this your last baby?” would be found.
ha.
Those words above are my words, words written [...]
