my friend, Elizabeth, pointed out the resemblance a few days ago, and it has been on my mind ever since. Then, Lisa, shared this photo of Lila and all I could see was my mother…it’s the eyes. They both have these enormously sad eyes. I’ve noticed those same sad eyes haunting me in the mirror these days.
P.S. I love you
I cried for you tonight.
My mother, the woman who carried me into this life. You have been in my heart, dwelling within my spirit these days. I can’t help but feel you are here with me for a reason.
I look in the mirror, and I so clearly see your face, now more than ever. Because now, [...]
Apostles’ Creed
We believe in one God, the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth, and of all things visible and invisible.
And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the only-begotten Son of God, begotten of the Father before all worlds , Light of Light, very God of very God, begotten, not made, being of one substance with [...]
Seasons Change
I’ve always found it fascinating that a single date is given to the change of seasons.
December 22nd
*
March 21st
*
June 21st
*
September 23rd
As if the change happens so concretely in a matter of hours. We all know the change is more subtle, a difference so slight with each passing day that we are never overwhelmed by its passing. [...]
Sustain me
I think I’d like very much to just slip away.
Not all at once, but slow and steady, where you almost don’t even notice my absence.
I wonder how one might do that…just drift…ebb and flow…until one day they just don’t return and the waters still and the world is quiet.
I’d like very much to just that, [...]
A Season For Everything
As I sit to write this post, it is 25 minutes before midnight.
And at midnight, June 18th, every year for as long as I can remember, I have wished my mother, “Happy Birthday!”
Same thing goes for midnight on June 16th, July 3rd, and July 7th—the birthdays of my sisters and myself.
It is our tradition, always was, [...]
As we near the 6 month mark
I knew almost immediately after our initial meeting with the Charlotte Hospice/Kidspath group, that those people were incredible. We were treated compassionately every step of the way—their doctors and nurses were the voice and reason when I could no longer form the words. We had meetings, phone calls, and daily exchanges to allow the best [...]
Thoughtful
We’ve spent some time away this week. On the opposite side of the country. No beaches, no cemetaries or urns, just a few memories from years earlier, long before my days of missing Jakie.
I feel quiet, thoughtful, full, but not content.
It was perculiar to be away, with just David and our youngest little one.
Early last [...]
In the darkest of places
Sitting, simmering in the place of no return
how did I get here again
I thought this part was past me
the blind rage that takes over me
envelopes my being
takes away my joy
and defeats my purpose
I do not want to be here
or there
or any damn where
I wish not to be
because the rage isn’t worth it
the volatile explosions of [...]
