Averyher continuous curiositythe way she blinks at me and waits for me to reply in likewise blinksher perfectly straight hairlistening to her prayers
Livieher silly voicethe literal way she views the worldhearing her say “turkey” or as she says “turtee”watching “teetee (tv)” with her at nighthow we have to match eachother every day, “Mommy I want [...]
100th Post, 100 Reasons to be Joyful … never a better time to count my blessings
93 pictures
In the 15 days Jake has been in the hospital I have taken 93 pictures. I have a complusive need to document this experince. My way of saying to the future me, you lived through this. All the pain, all the worry, all the genuine spirit swallowing heartache, and this, just look at the beauty [...]
Mother to Son by Langston Hughes
Well, son, I’ll tell you:Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.It’s had tacks in it,And splinters,And boards torn up,And places with no carpet on the floor –Bare.But all the timeI’se been a-climbin’ on,And reachin’ landin’s,And turnin’ corners,And sometimes goin’ in the darkWhere there ain’t been no light.So boy, don’t you turn back.Don’t you set [...]
November
Knowing I’d like to beat least a hundredsteps from reality
feeling so heavythe weight of deathis knotted in mystomach
mustn’t breathe this nextbreathI no longer wish to feel
my reality is not minewho gave this to me?Take it away
take me away
not here, not todaynot my baby
overwhelming feargnawing in my gut
this mustn’t be meor him
not now,not ever
*******
God, may you [...]
The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr
God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.
Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as Jesus [...]
Three Strikes?
Talk about sharing your burdens, wow, I certainly feel uplifted in both mind and spirit after reading so many beautiful, kind words. Thank you all for taking a portion of our pain with you for just a moment. Much love to Kyla and Jenny for continuing to share our story.
Today I feel eerily calm. Or [...]
Here We Go Again
It’s that time of year again. Another November spent inside the sterile walls of a children’s hospital. I have a notion to take Jake in the opposite direction and just run. I envision us hiding out together, me giggling when someone calls out for us, whispering to Jakie, “They’ll never find us.” Jakie grinning that [...]
Where I am in all of this
http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=4c39bf61f7d9a987615e
Thanks to the friend who passed this video along. This song is one of my favorites and right now it’s exactly how I feel and what I need ….to be held while the rain is falling. I just long for the rain to soften, my tears to dry, and my heart to mend.
Lost Words: A Final Conversation between Mother and Daughter
Words, where are you?though my heart is heavenly burdened,the pain is still ripe, simmering within my spirit
for what closure can words alone invite?there is little here on earth that can soothe the cries of the anguished heart
my very breath stills at the remembrance of your passingI want so much more than your memory to comfort [...]
Day 3 and she’s still gone
I look just like her. I really do. But I never wanted to be like her.
It terrifes me, this sudden rain of loss and confusion. I love my mother. I don’t want to say I loved her. It is still an active pursuit.
She hurt me you know, my mother. And scared me. Yet she loved [...]
